Hussein Skips Trial

Sadam Hussein didn't appear at his trial today. Surviving lawyers for the defense team citied chronic back pain on the part of the former dictator. Hussein's lawyers tried to gain approval from the judge at the trial for Mr. Hussein to travel to Bahrain to visit with Michael Jackson's back specialist.

"Mr Jackson's back enabled him to miss many days of his trial due to suspicious back pain. We hope that Mr Hussein can receive similar treatment and sympathy from the jury as Mr Jackson. Barring that, we feel it is necessary that Mr Hussein minimally be placed in the center square at the trial such that he may be called on more frequently." in a statement leaked from one of his surviving lawyers.

In the latest news just out from "We Really Really Really Don't Care Anymore Magazine" Nicole Ritchie has broken off her engagement with whomever. Reports are that she tried to buy really cheap envelopes to mail out the wedding invitations with, but her fiancee, having watched "Seinfeld" at some point in his life was aware of the trick. Otherwise her George and Jerry marriage pact with Paris seems to be officially kaput as they have now both broken off. Most surprising is that they are trying to model so much of their life on the Seinfeld series, while somewhat "Bizzaro" in that unlike George and Jerry, they seem to go to parties while neither appear to have jobs.