The Test Tube Kids With a Friend of Mine

Apologies to WAR. Apparently the kids that Michael Jackson dangled off a balcony in Berlin and repeatedly tries to keep from being with their mother aren't even his. Reports yesterday state that the kids are the product of a test tube with an anonymous donor. Rumor has it the donor was not Tom Cruise. Speaking of immaculate conceptions, Katie, apparently you're up.

In other news of "grate" import to the tie-died and stinking of patchouli set, Grateful Dead Productions retreated on their earlier efforts to stop allowing free downloads of Dead shows and songs over the net which were recorded in concert. Apparently with Jerry dead, they felt they needed someone else to fund their pot brownies and acid trips since they already had squandered away hundreds of millions of dollars previously made during their near constant touring and subsequent "The Other Ones" and "The Dead" tours even after Jerry passed on. To all of the prep school kids hanging outside of shows in their $400 of Abercrombie and Fitch clothes holding up a finger in need of a "Miracle," this one goes out to you.