Osama say... Be on lookout for new attacks

A new tape by Osama bin Laden warned that al Qaeda is planning new attacks on Americans, but that he is open to a conditional truce.

Rumors abound that Osama is teaming up with or possibly against Pat Robertson to strike down anti-God peoples in America.

Al Qaeda left messages with major US news organizations that they were working diligently to return power to the many affected by the black-outs in the norteastern US. Bin Laden personally donated millions in what he called lobbying expenses.

Pat Robertson meanwhile has been claiming that power was knocked out via the wind as an act of God against the sinners and leftists that dominate the North East.