1 in 5 kids online too much

A survey by the University of Southern California of adult internet users found 1 in 5 parents think their kids are online too much. 2 out of 5 were unable to get to use the computer to fill out the survey because their kids were on it and the last 20% were filled in by kids themselves who had hacked their parents accounts.

iPods banned for sale in North Korea

North Koreans will have to find something else to listen to their podcasts of Kim Jong-il now that the US has banned the sale of iPods in the North Korean state. A spokesman from Microsoft issued this statement, "While the North Koreans may not be able to buy iPods, we see this as an opportunity to introduce our Zune music players to their people. After flagging sales and some minor glitches, our marketing specialists have determined that the North Korean marketplace is a perfect fit".

Bush sidesteps talk of 'Civil War'

President George Bush has been trying to sidestep any talk of Civil War in Iraq. The president's spokesman added, "It worked for the president with Vietnam and the National Guard, we feel that the third time is a charm."

Proving Howard Stern is right

Reports are circulating today that Baywatch Babe Pam Anderson has filed for divorce from Kid Rock aka Bob Ritchie proving that celebrities probably shouldn't marry unless for the sole purpose of wealth redistribution or lawyer full employment acts.

Rangle forgot the election was two weeks ago

NY Representative Chuck Rangle, the incoming chairman of the House Ways and Means Committee has said he will introduce a bill next year to reintroduce the draft as a way of deterring politicians from starting wars.

The Republicans were caught a bit off guard. Republican strategist James McOnley made this statement, "While it is customary for Democrats to make explosive comments just before an election that costs them votes, releasing these incendiary statements after an election is a new tactic. It appears that the Democrats are moving towards a policy of screwing themselves year round"

Fed-Ex

Citing irreconcilable differences also, Kevin Federline aka K-Fed or Fed-ex or Mr Spears has counter files for divorce. Having no known skills, he's suing for custody of the kids, figuring he eventually has to see them. Also thoughts are that if he has custody, he'd have another reason not to work and just stay home with his posse and whatever nanny he can find to try to bang.

They have two kids that Fed-ex has yet to touch and given his impressive fathering skills (or impregnating anyway) this has been something of a curve ball for the Spears camp.

Brittney files for divorce

Citing irreconcileable differences, Brit is filing for divorce from Kevin Federline aka K-Fed, who also was able to only draw 300 hostages to a show in NYC that he had to beg and plead to keep open (the hall held 1500). No word on the number of actual fans there.