Bolton Named Chief of Staff

According to unconfirmed reports, Andrew Card will be stepping down as President Bush's Chief of Staff and replaced with Michael Bolton.

It is a surprise move by the Bush Whithe House but also expected to smooth over relations with the American people. Mr Bolton was a surprise pick, but since his engagement with Nicollette Sheridan, a star of one of Americas most popular programs, "Desperate Housewives" it looks like a win-win for the White House.

"Andrew Card was talentless, David Hasselhoff has his own issues. If you want to jazz up the White House, you either bring slick-willy back, or you bring in something fresh. This is a one-two punch. Popular musician and actress making the rounds in DC. They could plant weapons in Iraq now and no one would be paying attention," said political strategist John Bolinsky of RPI.